One of the hardest parts of a relationship is deciding how serious it’s going to be and how far it’s going to go. This is doubly true of relationships that are on the side. You can’t have a public affair, so by nature the boundaries have to be different from that of a common relationship. Where they should be, however, is a subject that some people feel more strongly about then others. When you’re deciding how far you and certain sexy someone are going to go follow these steps to know where to stop.
Assess the Risk
The first thing that you must do is assess the risk. How likely is it that your wife is going to catch you cheating? Have you cheated before? Does your wife snoop a lot, or is she trusting? Do you go out of town on business often? All of these affect the risk factor. There’s always some risk in keeping secrets from someone who knows you well, so expect that there will be some problems with this. When you have a good idea of how likely it is that you’re going to get caught you can decide how far apart you need to keep your real life and your affair life.
Stick to Things You Set at the Beginning
It can be tempting to change the rules in the middle of the game. When you’re dealing with an affair ad the boundaries you set, don’t. You might just be in the calm before the storm. If your wife is usually suspicious then don’t trust to a few weeks of good mood. She could just as easily go back to trying to hack your email account every night to see what you’ve been hiding. If your mistress is the one trying to call the shots here then you need to remind her of what you decided at the beginning. If she’s starting to get clingy, needy, and demanding more then that’s a good sign that the relationship actually might be ending soon for your own good.
Have a Lock Down Mode
You need to set up a code phrase with your mistress that lets her know that she needs to vanish. This has to be something that she takes seriously and it requires that she knows that she’s dating a cheater. If you have to, tell her that your wife has a violent temper and was in jail at one point. Then all you have to do is send your mistress a text in code and all of a sudden, she doesn’t know you exist. She won’t text, she won’t call, and she won’t send you naughty emails until you let her know that your wife isn’t going through your stuff anymore. This is an important step if you want to maintain an affair with the same woman over time.
Establishing boundaries can be a difficult process but the rewards are well worth it. Follow these steps to have safer, more fun affairs that you can control. Be the boss and keep on top of things and you’ll be able to have your cake and eat it too: marriage and the ultimate affair.